The Making of a McMurray Nightmare

I had a pretty horrifying dream on the weekend, and for once it had nothing to do with Highway 63, one-hour traffic back-ups on Confederation, or fights over the Snye or Draper Road. No, this wasn't my usual nightmare. This one began with me quite innocently walking into the Thickwood Safeway in search of my morning latte - and discovering the Starbucks closed. Not just closed, though. Being dismantled, torn down in front of my eyes.

In my nightmare (where I tend to be a bit more profane than in real life) I believe I looked at the apron-clad baristas and shouted "What the eff do you think you are doing?!?", while frantically trying to grab bits of signage out of their hands and place them back in their proper place. The baristas quietly explained that the Starbucks was being closed down since a new stand-alone Starbucks was to open downtown and therefore the decision to close this one had been made. Now, in my nightmare this is where I began to cry, big fat latte-less tears rolling down my face as I realized that I would have to face the nightmarish traffic to get a latte in the future. I remember feeling lost and abandoned, bereft and left to the whimsy of fate as another one of the things that make life in Fort Mac good was gone.

And that's when I woke up, in a cold sweat, and realized it was just a dream. A horrid dream, but just a dream and nothing more. As I lay there I still felt a bit terrified and decided I'd visit the Starbucks that day to make sure my dream had been a nightmare and not premonition (and I am happy to report I have no precognitive abilities as Starbucks in Thickwood Safeway is very much open for business). The dream made me realize something else, though. It made me realize how closely attached I am to some of the little luxuries of life here, and that is perhaps because there are so few of them right now.

We are a community of over 100,000, and yet have only two Tim Horton's, two tiny Starbucks, one small coffee shop, and an even tinier coffee corner (Havana's in the Peter Pond Mall, best coffee in town, but you'll need to take it to go as seating is very limited - as in two). If you happen to be a writer and coffee fiend this is a very small number of spots to grab coffee, which is a bit like blood to many of us who scribble. And it isn't just coffee shops.

I went into mourning many years ago when we lost our only craft store, which had been located on Reidel Street. It was the only place in town to find many craft supplies, and when it closed online craft sites became my new best friend. I've seen shoes stores disappear (remember the one that used to be on Franklin?), and children's clothing stores. It seems like I have seen some of our options shrink as the city has grown, losing retail instead of gaining it as commercial space costs rose and squeezed out some business owners. I've seen restaurants come and go. At times it has been hard to live here, because signs saying "everything must go, store closing" made me cringe as I was made aware once again of the limitations of living in this northern city.

Now let's be clear - I love this community. I also love coffee, shoes, clothing, dining, and the finer things in life. I've been called a "bon vivant" (if you don't know what that means then go look it up like I had to do in order to make sure it was a compliment and not an insult hidden in another language). I grew up in Saskatoon, "the Paris of the Prairies", and spent most of my twenties in Toronto, one of the largest and, to me, most vibrant cities in the entire country. I have also lived in very small places, like Red Lake, Ontario, where I lived in the even smaller town of Cochenour, which had no school, gas station, grocery store, or anything else (and was quite literally where the highway ended in that region, disappearing right into the lake). Given a choice I will choose the larger community every time, because I like options. I like being able to choose from more than two shoe stores, and I like something different from the same restaurants I've eaten in for the last decade. I suppose that is why I get giddy when new stores and restaurants open up here, because they are new and novel. And I suppose that is why a goofy little dream about the Safeway Starbucks closing was enough to send me into a cold sweat and feelings of deep anxiety.

So, that was my Fort McMurray Nightmare. I think, actually, that we are at the start of a Fort McMurray dream instead, when we will see new options of every kind becoming available to us. Personally I can't wait. Until then, though, I am keeping a very close eye on the baristas at Starbucks, because if they show any sign of dismantling the counter I want to be there to defend my beloved lattes,  stir stick sword at the ready.

We Have Met The Enemy, Fort McMurray

I thought about writing this blog post last night, but I held off. I stopped myself because I realized in my tired and somewhat agitated state it was likely to simply become a string of profanities, and while that may be a useful way of letting off some personal steam it doesn't have quite the same impact as logical, rational words. And so, very late last night, I laid in bed and thought about what I would write today. I thought about what I would write after a day which saw two more deaths on local highways, one on Highway 881 and one on Highway 63. These two deaths bring the total of deaths on these highways in 2013 to three - in six days. I realize that statistically this trend is unlikely to continue, but in terms of bad starts to a new year I cannot imagine much worse. I thought last night about how to write about this, and what to say, and today I sit here with my laptop, and spill it all out to you.

First, I want to make some things very, very clear:

1) I am a strong and vocal proponent of twinning Highway 63. I always have been, and always will be. I have written and spoken about this issue many times, and I think my position on it is very clear. I have also always said, however, that twinning is not the total solution, and that we must address other factors or see fatalities continue to occur.

2) What I write today should in no way be seen as an indictment of fault or blame in the recent deaths. Those investigations are ongoing and cause has not yet been determined. I think we should acknowledge, however, that most collisions involve driver behaviour. One of the things I have learned thanks to local safety groups is to not refer to these as "accidents", as that implies an event that could not have been foreseen or prevented - and statistics clearly show most collisions can be.

3) I love this community. In fact I love this entire region, it is my home and I am damn proud of it. I doubt you could find a more vocal and ardent supporter. However, I am not blind in my support and we do ourselves no favour in ignoring reality. And the reality is that we have a huge, huge problem.

Okay, with those three points clear, I would like to start this post with a quote from a comic strip named Pogo, by artist Walt Kelly. The quote is this:

Fort McMurray, we have met the enemy, and he is us. We have tried to blame the road, and each other. We have blamed lack of law enforcement, and inadequate road maintenance. The one person we seem most reluctant to blame, however, is ourselves. We would like to believe it is the fault of anyone but ourselves, and we want to point our finger at anything and anybody BUT us. The reality is : it IS us. We are killing each other, and ourselves, on our highways.

We demanded that Highway 63 be twinned, and in November we received a commitment from the provincial government to do exactly that. However, even if they could by some miracle achieve the completion of the twinning in half the time they have committed to (fall of 2016) we would, given current collision rates, see a tremendous number of deaths on that highway. The highway cannot be twinned overnight - and people, Highway 881 isn't going to be twinned, at least not in the foreseeable future. That too is reality, and we need to realize that unless behaviour changes there may not be a whole lot of us left to drive on the newly twinned Highway 63. More of us will lose our lives there instead, and in ways that simply do not have to occur.

We demanded increased patrols and enforcement, and we have received that. We have seen blitzes that have netted speeders and drunk drivers, and hundreds of fines and tickets handed out. I am at the point, though, where I think we need to seriously stiffen these penalties. I am ready to get quite draconian, in fact, and once we determine what we feel constitutes a serious driving infraction punish it in a very serious way. No small tickets or fines, but rather huge ones, ones that hurt. Take away cars, and driver's licenses - and don't give them back until the driver in question successfully completes a defensive driving course at their own expense. And perhaps those drivers should be required to spend some time in a morgue, too, so they can see the aftermath of a highway collision, so they can see the damage they can inflict on others - and themselves. If we need to be "scared safe" then maybe that time has come.

I also think we need to be very honest about driving behaviour. When we see someone pass five vehicles and narrowly avoid a head on collision we think "wow, what an asshole" - but when that person dies doing the same thing, and perhaps takes others with them in that act, we somehow back off out of respect for their family. And I truly sympathize with their families, and their loss - but do we do ourselves any favours by suddenly pretending their poor decision did not have a direct impact on them and others? By giving them that "free pass" in our minds are we really serving them, and ourselves, well? Maybe it is time to call a spade a spade, and while expressing respect for the families recognize that stupid driving behaviour needs to be called exactly that, and not give those who engage in it some sort of "get out of jail free card" when it has landed them - and perhaps others - in a cemetery. This in no way diminishes our respect for those left behind - but it does acknowledge that we are responsible for our decisions and behaviour, even when - and perhaps especially when - it results in our own demise, and the demise of others.

And finally, and this is the big one, we need to stop looking at other people as being to blame. It is so easy, far too easy, to look at all those around us and say "well, he is speeding/texting/passing unsafely" while blissfully ignoring our own horrendous habits. How many of us can say we never speed, never are inattentive, never drive while tired, never are distracted, never drive too fast for conditions, never get frustrated and make a potentially risky decision? Show of hands? I see no hands, people, because if you are honest - brutally honest - you have kept your hands down because you know we are all, each and every one of us, guilty. There will be those who argue that speed doesn't kill and is arbitrary and blah blah blah, but if you are one of those then go fight to have speed laws repealed - don't take it on yourself to speed instead, because I have no problem seeing your ass thrown into jail if you happen to be wrong in your theory and your speeding injures someone. There will be those who say they can text just fine while driving, There will be those who defend their inattention, their risky decisions, and deny any sort of improper driving behaviour. And they can defend and deny right until their grave if they wish, but I'd rather they don't arrive there via Highway 63 and 881. I would hope they stop instead, and think. With honesty. With clarity. And with recognition that we have seen the enemy. 

Yesterday a good friend contacted me and expressed concern over my state given the events of the day. Those close to me know I tend to take these a bit personally, and, well, I tend to forget to do things like eat and sleep when they occur. I tend to get a bit haunted by them, and spin myself into a little spiral of grief and sorrow and worry. Yesterday, though, when my friend contacted me I analyzed myself and found myself surprisingly okay. And why? Because I was numb. I realized to my horror that I have now heard and read and talked and leaned so much about these tragic events on our highways that my emotions refused to be stirred - because I had grieved so much, and so often, that the well seemed dry. And I found this more sad than anything else yesterday, because it meant that this has happened so often in my time here that I am almost becoming used to it. Accustomed to it. Accustomed to death, and loss, and sorrow. And that is not something I am willing to accept, because to become accustomed to it is to accept it, and I refuse. I refuse to accept that we cannot do anything, and that this is just the way it is. We can change this, people. And we have to, before more of us die on these little northern ribbons of road.

We have met the enemy, Fort McMurray. And he is not the highway, or lack of enforcement. He is not road conditions. We have seen the enemy - and he is us. 

MacDonald Island Park's Twelve Greatest Moments of 2012 - And My Special Moments There

I ran across this lovely little video the other day. It just popped up on my Facebook timeline, and I had to sit and watch it because it is a chronicle of a place I consider a second home in this community. I watched it, transfixed, because as it played before me I realized I had been present for a good many of these moments, and those I had missed I could recall hearing about (and I recalled why I missed them, too, proving my memory may be better than I thought). The video is about the top twelve moments of 2012 at one of my favourite places in Fort McMurray - MacDonald Island Park.

I wasn't at the hockey game that starts the video because I was out of town that day. I was there to see Rex Murphy - and that episode of Cross Country Check Up represents one of the very first times I spoke publicly about this community (and I remember how my knees shook the entire time, too). I was at the Twin 63 Now Rally, of course, and once again I had the honour of speaking, this time directly to a community I feel so very passionately about. I was sick the weekend of the road hockey tournament, and so I missed that excitement, but I was there shortly after Yogen Fruz opened (with a spoon at the ready). I was there to ooh and aah at the Canada Day fireworks, as I volunteered with Events Wood Buffalo that weekend, and it was three days of glorious fun, and exhaustingly hard work.

I didn't see Tom Cochrane because I was on holiday in Yoho National Park on that day, and I was deeply torn because I so wanted to hear him sing "Life Is A Highway". I was there, however, to see Hedley, two Intrepid Junior Bloggers in tow, and I recall their excitement when they got to meet the band (and, well, I was pretty darn pleased, too). One of those Junior Bloggers has now gone home to her mother, as she was only on loan to me for one year, and that concert was one of her final experiences in Fort Mac. The joy of being able to give her that gift still makes me a bit tearful.

I was there when Mayor Melissa Blake used an enormous shovel - a REALLY enormous shovel - to break ground on the new expansion at MacDonald Island Park. I don't quite know how to put into words what that groundbreaking meant to me, as you see Mac Island asked me - ME! - to speak to RMWB council on behalf of some of the stakeholders in the expansion, and to explain why it was so strongly supported by them. That was an honour I will never forget, and so the memory of the  groundbreaking ceremony makes me a bit weepy, too.

I was honoured once again to be a guest at the annual "State of the Island" gala, where I heard COO Tim Reid explain the significance of the letter "U" - and about how MacDonald Island is all about you, the residents of this community. I was there for the ribbon cutting at the opening of the newly expanded Total Fitness Centre, a place which has recently seen far too little of me (which explains why there is slightly more of me being carried on my thighs) but that will start to see much more of me on the treadmill very soon. And finally I was there just days ago, on New Year's Eve, to celebrate The Craze, and marvel at the incredible turnout, hundreds of people lining the halls and arenas. As I said on Twitter that day I think there were only about three people in Fort McMurray who weren't there that day, because I ran into dozens of people I know.

So I stop now and count, and discover that of those top moments I was there for nine out of the twelve, nine unforgettable moments in Mac Island history - and in my life. You see, though, I have many, many more moments there in 2012. Dozens of moments, and more likely hundreds of them, moments spent there with family and friends. Moments that made me cry, and moments that made me laugh. Moments that may not have made the top twelve video, but that will replay in my mind forever, moments with the Intrepid Junior Bloggers and moments with musicians and moments with Mac Island staff and moments with Events Wood Buffalo staff and moments with a film crew of students from Calgary and moments when I was simply alone and on an elliptical machine, thinking, as I so often do, about this community.

And I suppose that is why this video made me smile - and shed a tear, too.You see to me MacDonald Island Park is a micro-community within our larger community, one to which I feel deeply connected, and one which is deeply bound to our entire region. So I share this video with you in the hope that perhaps you were there for some of these top twelve moments of 2012 - and believing that even if you did not see any of these moments that they will inspire you to remember your own moments spent at MacDonald Island Park - the heart of our community. I know it brought memories flooding back to me, and they are moments I will truly never, ever forget.

MacDonald Island Park

The Twelve Greatest Moments of 2012

Of Logging Trucks and Eye Twitches

I've always been very wary of them. I've always tried to avoid them, giving them a wide berth when I encounter one on the highways. When I find one ahead of me, or when I realize I will have to pass one, I find myself developing a stress-related twitch in my left eye, a twitch normally reserved for cross-country moves or childbirth. What are these sources of my eye twitch, those behemoths that figure prominently in my fears about driving? Logging trucks, that's what.

We have a lot of logging trucks in this region, normal given our lush boreal forest and a hungry timber industry. In fact logging is fairly active here, an industry often overlooked in favour of the major employers in the oil sands. While oil sands might be king the logging industry is clearly the prince, and so I often find myself sharing the road with the transport trucks bearing the timber felled from our forests and destined for other places. And while I watch the logs on the truck shimmy and shake my stomach does a bit of the same, going all wobbly with nervousness about logs shifting and falling off those trucks.

Accidents involving lost logs are not all that common, but when they occur they are undoubtedly messy. Much like a dropped container of toothpicks logs spilled from a truck scatter around, blocking roads and creating chaos. Much worse than the delays they cause, though, is the potential for serious injury - and again while not common it does occur.

Log Impales Minivan

Log Truck Loses Cargo

Now to be clear those photos above are not from this region, and not even from Canada. Yesterday, however, a logging truck on Highway 63 lost its load of logs around Wandering River, shutting down the highway and causing a lot of inconvenience. I'm actually profoundly grateful, however, since it could have been much worse. I have heard stories of logs flying through windshields, and last night on Twitter someone shared a story of a log, loosened from a truck after a collision, that flew like a missile down a highway and killed a worker from Kazakhstan.

Apparently the hazard is that as logging trucks travel the logs can shift and settle, causing the restraints to loosen. When this occurs the load can shift again, occasionally enough to cause the truck to roll, and/or to lose stray logs (or the entire load). There are requirements to ensure the load is secured, of course, and companies involved in the transport of logs take this very seriously as they don't want an incident any more than the rest of us (especially given that in the event of injuries or death the liability, both legal and financial, falls squarely on them).

Again, none of the above videos are from this region. I find that rather cold comfort, and late last night as I watched these videos on YouTube my dread of logging trucks didn't really diminish. I know that we must have some faith in the professionalism of drivers and companies, but my faith is a bit shaken every time I follow one of those trucks and find myself mesmerized by logs bouncing up and down, screwing up my courage to get the hell past them and away. And why do I need courage for that? I'm always terrified the moment I pass will be the moment the load will shift and spill over, drowning my car in logs. And while I realize the odds are small and that this is likely an irrational fear I must admit to having it.

And I haven'e even touched on what happens when someone collides with a logging truck, which often involves the logging truck rolling and losing their load. The aftermath photos of those accidents are quite horrifying, as I discovered early this morning at about 3 am (someone should really take my laptop away at midnight). I'd post more photos but I think you get the idea. Just Google "logging truck loses load" if you really need to see more.

I admit I don't know much about the legislation governing logging trucks, but this recent incident on Highway 63 has inspired me to learn. When I heard the truck had lost its load I was quite worried that someone might have also lost their life, but it does not appear this was the case, and all involved seem to have gotten off lucky (and even the highway was opened long before it was anticipated to be). We won't always be so lucky, though, and so I intend to learn a bit more about this not-as-rare-as-I-hoped issue. And frankly I plan to stay as far away from logging trucks as I possibly can, because they just make me tense, and that eye twitch is deeply uncomfortable.

Oh, and while I was cruising the Internet last night reading about logging trucks I stumbled across this video. Yes, a maple syrup spill on a roadway called "Buttermilk Pike". You can't even make gold like this up, people. How I wish we had a street called "Peanut Butter Way" here in Fort McMurray. I swear I'd sit around and wait for a chocolate truck to roll over. 

 

A Clarion Call on Highway 63

Two days. A mere two days. It took only two days into the brave new year of 2013 for us to see another tragic death on Highway 63 - and a collision that could have been far worse given that it involved a bus full of passengers who were in a head on collision with a SUV, the SUV travelling south and the bus travelling north. They met in a most horrific way, both spinning off the highway into the snowy ditches, one driver dead, another driver injured, and several passengers also hurt. And once again I heard the news with a heavy and sad heart.

The details are still emerging, of course. The cause of the accident is not yet known, and the investigation is ongoing. The incident occurred at a section of the 63 that is not slated for twinning, and while that has elicited cries to twin the entire length of that highway there are some other things I think we should discuss while we wait for the investigation to finish. We cannot twin every single highway in every single corner of this province, and while the argument to twin Highway 63 from Grassland to Fort McMurray is very sound I think we also need to focus on some other things - like driver behaviour.

I do not know if driver behaviour was the cause for this latest collision, but let's be very frank - it is usually involved. Momentary lapses of judgement, poor decisions, and downright risky behaviour are often the root cause for these collisions, injuries, and deaths. And we are all prone to them, so this isn't the time to begin pointing fingers (as the adage goes when you point at others there are three fingers pointing back at you). This brave new year is the time to think about your own driving behaviours, and to be very, very honest about them. No subterfuge, no "I never do that" - honesty. Here is the question I think we should ask:

Have you ever driven in a manner or made a driving decision that could have ended badly for you and others?

I will go first and answer: yes. Yes, I have. I have on occasion driven too fast for road conditions, and I have made split-second decisions that could have ended very badly were it not for my good fortune. And there is no one to blame but me for those things, no highway at fault or lack of police presence. I bear the responsibility. I could defend myself by pointing out all the things I don't do, like unsafe passing and aggressive driving, but instead I am going to mull over the things I have done, and what I can do to change them. I don't really "do" New Year's resolutions, as I think those are things destined to fail as they are tied to an arbitrary date and not necessarily to what is in our hearts and minds, but this is something I have resolved - I will be a better driver. And not just for me, but for you.

Because you see my driving impacts you, too. My driving behaviour, if poor, has the potential to end not only my life, but yours. My driving behaviour could injure you or your children or your family. When I get behind the wheel I bear the weight of responsibility of not only my life, but the lives of hundreds of others who share the road. And in the same way they too share that responsibility, and so in the end we are all responsible for each other.

I know we all make mistakes, and I am very forgiving of that. Unfortunately vehicles weighing thousands of pounds are not so forgiving, and so one mistake can end tragically. While we may forgive the mistaken decisions we make we cannot change the outcome of a mistake that ends in a death or injury, and so we need to start thinking about ways to avoid those mistakes. To drive smarter and safer and with thought. In fact we just need to stop and think about how we drive and why and what it means to be piloting a potential weapon of death on our roads. Many of us love our cars, their speed and their agility. I love my zippy little beast, the way it hugs corners and sticks to the pavement, but my lovely little car could become an agent of death and injury in a heartbeat. And that is a sobering thought.

I want to mention something else, too. In the collision on January 2nd several passengers on the bus involved, a Red Arrow bus bound from Edmonton to Fort McMurray, commented on how the bus driver, injured himself, attended to his passengers, assessing their injuries and advising them to stay on the bus until help arrived. I have travelled with Red Arrow and I want to make something very clear - their drivers are professionals of the highest calibre. I say this because my own father-in-law drove a bus for decades in another province and I know very well what the job requires, and the challenges. I have tremendous respect for Red Arrow and their drivers, and I wish to thank that driver for making sure his passengers were cared for even when he had his own injuries to address. I will travel Red Arrow again, because I know I am in good hands when I do so, and I have always enjoyed my travels with them.

It's ironic that my New Year's Day post was about Highway 63. I had hoped I would not feel the need to write about this highway for months, and find myself here just hours later writing this. When I heard about this incident on January 2 I was disheartened, thinking a collision so early into 2013 was some sort of bad omen, a sign of another bad year to come on this highway. I've changed my thought on this, though. I have decided to see this latest tragedy as a clarion call, a call to action. And it isn't a call to demand more police presence or twinning more of the highway - it's a call to action to ourselves, to start thinking seriously about our own driving behaviour. I see this as an opportunity for us to have this be the first - and the last - fatality on Highway 63 in the next twelve months. This is a clarion call to ourselves, people. We answer the call for our own benefit - and we ignore it at our own peril. Because if we do not change, if we do not address our own driving behaviour, we will see more death on Highway 63. Guaranteed.

The One Road To Link Them All

Photo courtesy of Wood Buffalo RCMP

It was a pretty quiet evening in Fort McMurray, especially for New Year's Eve. I was out and about, searching for an open fast food joint that hadn't closed for the holiday. I was driving around downtown, oblivious to the fact that for someone it wasn't such a quiet night. In fact I suspect it was rather noisy, particularly when the load they were hauling collided with the Hospital Street Bridge, pulling down chunks of concrete. I would imagine it was quite loud, and quite worrisome - although the driver in question didn't do what most would do, and pull over. No, they merrily continued on their way, leaving a damaged bridge in their wake. And as they drove away the true impact of such a simple accident - the collision of a high load with an overpass - started to register in this community.

I first heard about it though a media release from the Wood Buffalo RCMP. The release was a bit dire, with warnings of severe traffic delays due to traffic needing to be rerouted on the northbound lanes under the bridge, and traffic over the bridge being redirected as well. Reports of falling concrete had been coming in, and for safety, until damage to the bridge could be assessed, the decision to limit traffic under and over it was made (and rightly so). The reaction on Twitter was almost immediate.

The words "severe traffic delays" strike fear into every heart in this town. There is a terror that goes along with those words, because we are already experiencing severe delays. Anything that threatens to worsen the situation is likely to inspire anger, and the bridge accident did exactly that. Anger was expressed towards the hit and run driver, the possible delay in bringing in an engineer to assess the damage (initially it was suggested that might not happen until January 2nd but actually occurred almost immediately), and, finally, the lack of a ring or bypass road in this community.

You see there is exactly one road running through the heart of this place. Highway 63 is the main artery that connects us to the world, but it is also the link between all our neighbourhoods, between the two halves of a city divided by a river, and between many employees and the oil sands sites. It is quite simply fundamental to our existence and our livelihoods - and anything that threatens that road is very worrisome indeed.

The accident with the bridge concerned me too, but for slightly different reasons. I recognized the potential for short term traffic delays and issues, but I was confident those could be addressed fairly promptly. It was rather the troubling scenarios that this incident raised that worried me, and those worries were far more difficult to address.

As I said we have one road in this community that links us to each other. That road is subject to very heavy traffic, and both industrial and residential traffic share this road, too. There is heavy equipment transported - and there are chemical loads as well, ones of the kind that if spilled could create "problems". And by problems I mean serious issues, and by serious issues I mean danger, and by danger I mean chaos.

I started to think about what would have happened if the high load that collided with the bridge had been a chemical transport instead, and (regardless of whether they had stopped or not) the kind of impact that might have on all of us. And that scenario, troubling enough as it was, was truly only one of the scenarios.

What about all the other possibilities? High loads that damaged a bridge enough to shut it down for months, not hours? What about all the other scenarios that one can imagine? And of course the logical answer is that we need a ring or bypass road, another option for getting those industrial loads where they need to be. But there is a catch, people, and the catch is, of course, money.

We live in a region where we need everything and have virtually nothing. Oh, we have lots in some ways, lots of employment, for instance, but a lack of almost everything else. From retail options to restaurants to commercial space to basic infrastructure we are a decade behind where we should be. This is not the fault, incidentally, of our current civic leadership who are anxiously trying to play catch up after things have been left unaddressed for far too long. They inherited these issues and are now trying to bring us up to speed, but the issues remain. And solving most of those issues requires cash.

The provincial government has committed one billion dollars to twinning Highway 63. We are seeing overpasses being built, and measures taken to improve traffic flow. And now we are seeing the necessity of a ring road, a way to avoid incidents like the one that occurred on New Year's Eve (and those that could be far worse). The hard part, however, is money, and allocating that money.

We are not the only part of this province that has needs, and while our needs are very important, especially given our status as the provincial economic engine, they are not the only ones that exist. Our neighbouring cities have needs too, and they too have projects that need to be addressed, roads to be built and twinned. And while we cry out to have all our needs met so do they, a virtual cacophony of voices begging for money to get things done.

It's tough spot to be in, really. We have so much here in so many ways, and yet we struggle with some basic needs. We forge on with our one road that links us all (for some reason I keep coming back to the thought "the one ring to rule them all" but I think that's because I just saw The Hobbit),  and when episodes such as the one on December 31st occur we bemoan how far behind we are. And we are not wrong to moan, because we do have some significant needs. However we cannot forget that we do not live in a bubble, and there are more needs in this province than just ours. It doesn't change the needs, and it may not lessen the moaning, but it may remind us that we are not alone in feeling such pain.

Oh, and the driver of that high load that damaged the bridge and fled the scene? From last report the local RCMP have some good solid leads on their identity, and I have no doubt they will be caught. This community has eyes and ears, and it will not hesitate to identify someone who not only damaged the bridge but left the scene of the accident, too. The bridge is undergoing some repairs, although apparently some cannot be completed until spring, and so there may be some minor inconveniences to traffic as a result. The real impact of all this, however, is that we have been reminded once more of all we need and do not have. In the final analysis we got off lucky - this time. I imagine however that the next time I am driving on the 63 and see a high load approach a bridge on our one linking road I will shudder a bit and cringe to see if it clears it - because next time we just may not be so lucky.

The Ribbon That Tied Together 2012 - Story of the Year

I will confess that I was not entirely sure what to blog about today. In the past I have done a retrospective on New Year's Eve, a look back at the year and a summary of what transpired over those twelve months. And I usually start the new year on an optimistic note, as one should do with fresh beginnings, which every new year is. Today, though, I decided I needed to blog about what I think was the biggest "story" in 2012 in Fort McMurray. It isn't just one story, though, but rather dozens, hundreds, even thousands, of stories all linked together by one common thread - or one common ribbon, as I have called it before. I refer, of course, to the ribbon of road called Highway 63.

On April 27th, 2012, seven people and one unborn child lost their lives in a tragic accident that I doubt this region will ever forget. The two survivors, one very young boy and one adult man, found their world forever altered, and the ripple effects spread far and wide into their families, their friends, and their community. That accident might be pointed to as the "biggest story of 2012" except that it is just one story of the thousands of lives that highway has impacted. It was, perhaps, the turning point for this region - and I know it was for me.

The night of April 27th I wrote an open letter to Premier Alison Redford, posted it in this blog, shut my laptop, and went to bed in tears. I awoke the next morning to discover it had been viewed thousands of times, and my email inbox full with comments, other stories of loss, and requests from media. Somehow, quite unwittingly on my part, I had become some sort of spokesperson on the tragedy on Highway 63, and I felt deeply unprepared. I had driven that highway many times, and I knew my emotional reaction to the losses this region had seen - but I did not feel I was equipped to speak to media. There is a time in your life, though, when you realize that even if you are not ready it might be in the best interests of others to act - and so act I did, and suddenly I had camera crews at my house.

There are some who no doubt think this was some sort of self-promotion on my part, some desire to be on provincial and national television, some lust for fame. They could not be more wrong. I struggled at many points because I kept feeling that I was not the right person to do this - I was not a politician or a highway builder or transportation official. I was a mom and a writer, and had no credentials to speak to tragic loss and what needed to be done to remedy the situation. In the end, though, I realized that perhaps that was exactly what this dialogue needed, someone who was just a mom and a writer and someone who travelled that highway and who was deeply, deeply personally affected by the losses on it even if those lost were not my family.

Since that time my name, and my destiny, seems to have become intrinsically linked to that ribbon of road that links this region to the rest of the world. When I Google Highway 63 my name often pops up, interviews I have done or stories I have written. I have lost track of the number of interviews, stories, and discussions. I have gone from being "just a mom and writer" to someone who has researched that highway, read about the statistics and history, and listened to the stories. I have listened to stories of close calls and near misses - and I have listened to stories of loss told through tears and grief.

In a way though that story, the loss of seven people and so many more both before and after April 27th, became another story, that of the announcement of a twinning completion date in the fall of 2016. I was present at that announcement, touching my hand to newly twinned blacktop and thinking about how it would save lives, lives like those I had written about. That story brought so many new people into my life, like another mother I think of particularly today as one year ago on New Year's Eve her life was forever altered when she learned her precious only son had been lost on that highway. Her courage has been a shining beacon for me this year. It brought into my life people like the organizers of the Twin 63 Now rally, two women of strength and character. It brought into my life so many others who emailed and called me to share their stories, and to tell me how my telling the stories was impacting them.

For me 2012 had a ribbon running through it, a ribbon that tied together my life in so many ways. That ribbon runs through our boreal forest, over bridges and past waterways. It meanders around corners and curves, and at times is incredibly beautiful to witness as the sun is setting and it glows under that soft warmth. It is a place of beauty and tragedy, of connection and loss, of hope and sorrow. It is Highway 63, a little road that we in this region know all to well, and with which I suspect most of us have a love-hate relationship. It is a road that changed lives, altered destinies, and which will, I hope, spend far less time in the media eye in 2013 and instead of being a focal point become just a road that links us to the world.

In 2012 Highway 63 altered many lives, including my own. I know I will never be the same because it changed me, and yet I feel terribly fortunate because the other lives it touched were changed in far more significant, and sorrowful, ways than my own. I know though that I will never forget that highway, no matter where I live in the future, nor the stories of those who experienced loss on it. I will never forget the conversation I had with one of the survivors of the accident in April, a conversation I will not recount but one that showed me such courage that it still brings me to tears. And so I deem Highway 63 as the Story of the Year for 2012, for all the losses suffered and lives changed and communities altered. It is a story of the year I hope will never be repeated until 2016, when I hope to deem the completed twinning of that highway as the 2016 Story of the Year. That will be a happy day indeed for me, and for this region. Instead today I find myself thinking about a very young boy who lost his family, an adult man who lost his wife and unborn baby, and a mother who lost her young adult son, and how they begin this new year without them, and in my heart I grieve for them, and for all who have lost loved ones on Highway 63.

The funniest thing is this: I deem Highway 63 the story of the year, and yet I dearly wish it was a story - or rather stories - I wish I had never had to write. I dearly wish I could go back one year and alter time instead, and that this story of the year did not exist. I wish I could do that, friends, I truly do - and yet I cannot, so instead I chronicle this, close my laptop, and hope that 2013 is a different year indeed for all of us - and for a little ribbon of road in northern Alberta. And while this post is rather sombre in nature it does not change my optimism for the year ahead, and so I wish to all of you a very Happy New Year, and my hope that 2013 will be a year you remember for joy and happiness.