Telling the story of my life in my home - Fort McMurray, Alberta.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Consent Required - Written Consent for Vaccination in Alberta

I am a strong believer in vaccinations.

As a parent (and pet owner) I have always believed that vaccines are powerful ways to protect those in our care from the diseases that once destroyed and claimed lives. As a parent I am an equally strong believer in informed vaccination, and in the necessity of being in charge of our children’s health care, such as giving consent for medical procedures, including vaccination. I believe this a crucial part of protecting the health of our children, and as parents and caregivers we must be responsible for our children’s health care.

Over the years I have both consented, and refused consent, for school-hosted vaccinations and medical tests for the Intrepid Junior Blogger. She is fully vaccinated for all the usual diseases of childhood, but in Grade One when they were doing routine tuberculosis testing of all Grade One children in the school I refused consent after a conversation with my physician and doing research that indicated that such routine testing for tuberculosis in areas where it is not endemic is of little value. I signed the form public health sent home through the school “consent refused”, and the Public Health Nurse called and I explained my reasoning.
In Grade Five when the IJB came home with another form I once again refused consent. This time they were vaccinating for Hepatitis B, but I had already decided she would be vaccinated for both Hepatitis A and B and since this was not offered through the school vaccination program I opted to have her vaccinated privately. I also rejected consent for vaccination against HPV after a long discussion with our physician who indicated they felt there was no harm in waiting until she was older and more mature to do this vaccination, and so it has been during her career in school, with most suggested vaccinations gaining my consent but some being refused for one reason or another. With each refusal came a phone call from the Public Health Nurse and we discussed my reasoning, and that was always the end of it, which is just as it should be.

Regrettably recently in our community this was not what happened to a young boy. When the vaccination consent form went home it was not returned by the boy’s parents, his mother, father, or stepmother as they had determined he too would be vaccinated for both Hepatitis A and B and thus they did not provide written consent for his vaccination. And there the story should end, except that in this case the boy was vaccinated on vaccination day without consent, and, despite him explaining to the nurse that he had recently had a needle, the vaccination went ahead.
No harm was done, at least in the physical sense as the dual vaccinations has proved to do him no injury – but harm was done in the sense that he was vaccinated without the consent of his parents. His parents have handled it remarkably calmly, while I would have likely reacted slightly differently.

I would have gone ballistic.
Regardless of how one feels about vaccinations I suspect we can all agree that consent is a fundamental part of medical treatment, particularly when it comes to our children. There can be myriad reasons we may refuse consent, and to vaccinate a child without proof of consent is deeply worrisome to me. What if the child has a medical condition, eg an allergy to a component of the vaccine (and I have witnessed vaccine-induced anaphylaxis in animals, and it is not something to underestimate as it can pose an immediate risk to life)? What if the child has an illness and a physician has determined that vaccination poses a risk? What if the child has a psychological fear of vaccination and their parent has chosen to vaccinate them privately as opposed to a herd setting (which incidentally is what we have done since the IJB was tiny and after a serious bout of anemia and subsequent medical intervention was left with a severe phobia of needles)? What if a parent has rejected vaccination for other reasons?

Now, in the above case a claim has been made that oral consent was given to vaccinate, and so it has become one word against another. In my belief, though, vaccinations should never be administered without written consent. This should be the only acceptable form of consent in our school system, and it should be required prior to vaccinations being administered. This written consent could come from a parent or whatever adult is acting as a parent of the child, or "in loco parentis" to quote the legal term, as there are cases when parental consent cannot be obtained and so the adult(s) responsible for the child's care should be allowed to provide this consent.
I firmly believe in vaccination. I also firmly believe in consent, and in consent that is unequivocal. Allowing oral consent to suffice leaves too many loopholes for those who may not understand the question or to what they are giving consent. It can end in the kind of incident that occurred to a local family, and it is, in my view, unacceptable.

In May one of the parents in the case I describe will join with MLA Don Scott to present a petition asking the provincial government to amend the law in such a way that only written consent will be accepted as consent for vaccination. This petition is now being circulated in our community, and as a mother and a concerned community member I will not only sign the petition but lend my support to this cause and encourage others to sign as well. I am including a list of locations where you too can sign the petition to demand that only written consent be accepted as consent for school vaccination programs.
What I know is this: If the IJB had been vaccinated without my express written consent I would have been outraged, as while I firmly believe in vaccination the concept and ideal of consent is a crucial part of the health care process. I had always assumed that without my written consent no medical procedure could be performed on my child (unless in an emergency situation, when lifesaving measures need to be implemented). I firmly believe that unless you have written consent in hand the appropriate action is to not vaccinate, because there may be reasons for not vaccinating that are not only sound but vital to understand prior to administering a vaccine.

I not only lend my support to this petition but to the demand that ONLY written consent be accepted for vaccination of children in Alberta. Now that I understand oral consent is deemed acceptable I must advocate to change this, because it matters and because I believe it allows incidents like the one I share today to occur - and while this one ended without serious health repercussion this may not always be the case.
I worked in veterinary clinics for a decade, and you may wonder why vet clinics are so adherent to the policy of consent forms. Unless the vet is standing in front of you almost any medical procedure done on your pet will involve a consent form, signed and dated, because almost every veterinary clinic has a horror story of oral consent gone wrong, and procedures being done when an owner has not given proper consent (a good number of lawsuits and malpractice claims in veterinary clinics centre on exactly this scenario, and I have seen many play out). If veterinary clinics require written consent for any procedure done in the absence of the owner of the animal then does it not make sound common sense that the same should be true of any procedure for children done in the absence of parents and caregivers, including vaccination?

I believe in vaccination, you see. And I also believe in consent, which is why I write this post today, and share the story with all of you. These are the locations where you can sign the petition asking the Government of Alberta to change the law to require written consent from parents or those acting as parents for vaccination of children. I can guarantee this - my signature will be found on this petition, and my email to the Minister of Health has already been drafted - and if you feel as I do I encourage you to do the same.

- Superstore Pharmacy (Downtown)
- Just Kidding Boys & Girls Clothing (Downtown)
- The Eye Place (Peter Pond Mall)
- Peter Pond Dental Clinic (Peter Pond Mall)
- One posted upstairs and one posted downstairs on Sportchek community board, right before you walk in (Peter Pond Mall)
- Back on Track Wellness (Timberlea)
- Shoppers Drug Mart Front Desk and Pharmacy (Thickwood Medical Centre)
- Dave Hill's Pharmacy (Thickwood)
- Family Foods (Gregoire)

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tag - You're It

It is time to reclaim our community.

The rash of graffiti “tagging” is one that began slowly, but that has spread across the community in astonishingly rapid fashion as “taggers” tag buildings, fences and cars. Tagging is all about laying claim and bragging rights, and not about graffiti as art (which can be just as problematic but at least in skilled hands can look artistic). Tagging is about ownership.
Graffiti taggers are using cans of spray paint to claim our community, one building, fence and car at a time. They have no regard for personal property, and no right to attempt to lay claim to things that do not belong to them, a fact on which I think most of us can agree.
And frankly it looks like hell.
Tagging makes our community look like a war zone, where people have stopped caring and where anyone can simply take out a can of spray paint and merrily claim us with their pseudonym.
But it is time for the tagging spree to end, because we need to reclaim our community. This week the RCMP charged a local individual with mischief. More charges are likely to come, and more taggers are likely to be identified, but I have grave doubt that this strategy alone will prove to be the solution. I believe we all have a role to play in this, because leaving tags in place encourages more tagging, and so we must work to undo the damage they have done. But we have an even greater role, because I believe we have been complicit in this. We have made it far too easy for the taggers to flourish, because we have allowed areas of our city to fall into decay.

The Penhorwood condos, the Twin Pines motel, and all the other vacant and empty buildings are powerfully attractive to taggers. Allowing buildings like this to stand allows the taggers a canvas, and as they cover these buildings they become far bolder, tagging buildings that are not vacant, and fences, and cars. 

One of the most powerful deterrents to tagging is building a strong and beautiful community, one in which such tagging is not tolerated and where it seems discordant. As long as vacant buildings are allowed to stand, as long as we don't remove the tags as soon as they occur, and as long as we spend more time punishing the taggers (with punishments that, if we are honest, are unlikely to deter them) than building strength and resiliency in our community, we will very likely continue to experience this tagging spree.

So what do we do? 

We join together to do spring clean ups and remove the detritus and garbage left over after a long winter. We demand our city tear down vacant buildings they own, and to require owners of other properties to do the same if they have left the buildings abandoned and derelict. We begin to remove the taggers' canvas, slowly squeezing them out of existence. We provide incentives of some sort (tax breaks, perhaps?) to those who invest to beautify their properties. We work on developing our neighbourhood groups, perhaps creating groups that maintain our own neighbourhoods and keep them free of trash and tagging. We develop neighbourhood gardens, shared spaces where we grow together. We work less on "demonizing the tagger", as my wise friend Dave Martin said, and work more on creating a beautiful place where tagging would simply seem out of place. And, perhaps, we provide some spots in the city where graffiti is welcomed, large mural projects like the skateboard park in Borealis Park downtown, and where serious graffiti artists (and they do exist, but often as quite a separate form from taggers) can practice their art.

We reclaim our community from the taggers by working on developing that vibrant and energetic downtown core that we have envisioned, and we don't need to wait for developers and a finished waterfront to do it. We can do it right now.

We have begun with things like the Urban Market during the week, but how welcome it would be to see even more events occurring downtown, during both day and evening hours. If we can attract more people to the downtown core, turning it into a vibrant place full of people, we limit the taggers' opportunities to do their damage in solitude, because they will be observed. 

We reclaim our community by changing the canvas. And nobody can do it but us, so if we really wish to see the rash of tagging end then I think we must acknowledge something. 

Fort McMurray, we've been tagged - and now we're it.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

One Tiny Tabby Kitten - Bill 205 in Alberta

I remember it pretty clearly, even though over the years I have tried to block the memory out of my head.

A small examining room in a veterinary clinic, a veterinarian, me, a tearful woman, and a handful of frightened looking children. On the table a small kitten, a tabby of the usual colouring, gasping in a way known as "agonal breathing", or the last few breaths before death. The kitten, about 12 weeks old, appeared to have a fractured skull, and there was silence as everyone stood there, knowing it would end with a needle of what we referred to as "the blue juice", Euthanasol, the drug we used to euthanize animals in a humane way, coloured with blue dye so there was no mistaking what it was when you reached for the syringe.

"He threw it against the wall," blurted out one of the kids, staring down at the floor. The woman shot him a quick and anxious look, and quickly said "It was an accident, not on purpose", but of course everyone in the room knew that this was no accident, and that in a fit of rage someone had picked up this vulnerable little kitten and slammed it against a wall hard enough to fracture the skull and cause massive injury to the fragile brain inside.

At the end it was just a small tabby kitten on the table, an empty syringe, a family gone home, a suddenly very tired looking vet who disappeared upstairs for a moment alone, and me in tears as I pulled out the tiniest of bags to dispose of the body.

A subsequent investigation into the incident by the police revealed the kitten wasn't the only in the house being abused, and the small frightened children had good reason to be scared. Were it not for the voice of the tiny little terrified soul who told the truth there is no telling how long the abuse would have continued, or if the tiny kitten would have been the only vulnerable creature in the house to end up fatally injured.

The entire episode shook me to my core.

It is, sadly, far too common a story in our country. I have known vets and staff from across the nation who have similar stories of animal abuse and neglect, of varying degrees. The link between animal abuse and domestic violence has been well-established now, as well as the link between the mistreatment of animals and other violent behaviour. Those who will abuse the most vulnerable, it seems, are far more prone to acts of violence against other humans, and this is a link we ignore at our own peril. I didn't understand it until that day in the examining room, but I have never forgotten it or doubted it since.

This week MLA Len Webber will introduce a private member's bill in the Legislative Assembly of Alberta. It asks the provincial government to review the legislation that protects animals in our province, and to increase the penalties for those who abuse or neglect animals. It is in response to legislation that has not been updated for many years, and that does not reflect our current understanding of the magnitude - and the impact - of animal abuse. It is anticipated his bill will easily pass, as any member of legislature who votes against this should be viewed with a suspicious eye as someone who does not like animals (and as my father liked to say: "never trust a man who doesn't like children or animals"), or someone who does not understand that animal abuse is a significant issue in our society that must be addressed. But passing this bill is only the first step, because until the legislation is amended nothing will change.

Today I lend my support to Bill 205, which is the bill to amend the legislation and allow for stiffer fines and penalties for animal abuse. I not only believe it is important but I believe it is crucial, because as our understanding of animal abuse grows so too does our understanding of the link between violence against animals and domestic violence. This isn't just about horrific abuse of cats and dogs but about a pattern of abuse that touches our lives as people. This is about violence and neglect.

For me this is about a tiny tabby kitten and a small group of shattered children who watched it dying.

Please lend your support to Bill 205. Facebook your support, Tweet about it, talk about, email or write or call your MLA and tell them that you expect them to speak out in support of ensuring appropriate punishment for those who choose to abuse animals.

Support the Animal Protection Amendment Act, because it won't just protect animals, as I learned over two decades ago in a tiny veterinary examining room. It may have the power, in the end, to protect all those in our society who are vulnerable. And as Gandhi said:

Saturday, April 12, 2014

When a Carnival is Just a Little Bit More - Sustainival

I first met Joey Hundert, the creative mind behind Sustainival, the world's first green carnival, two years ago. He had invited local media to come and check out his process that converts used cooking oil to biodiesel, which is then used to fuel the rides at Sustainival, a carnival much like all the others that tour this country and stop in small cities and towns and shopping mall parking lots.

And it is true that Sustainival looks no different, as the rides look exactly the same, and they serve mini-donuts and poutine in the food concessions and you buy ride tickets and, inevitably, someone turns very green on the Gravitron. But Sustainival is vastly different, because Sustainival is sustainability in action.

We live in a place where sustainability gets a lot of lip service as a concept. We love the idea, in fact, this buzzword that gets tossed around for every project and every idea, but it is the reality that eludes us. Most of us don't even know what happens to our recycling after our bins are emptied. We struggle when asked to point to a concrete example of sustainability. We love the word. We love the concept. We are just a lot less certain about how to achieve it.

And sustainability matters in Fort McMurray, because we are fundamentally economically based on a resource that is not sustainable. Oil supply is finite, and one day it will disappear. Oh, not this year, of course, and maybe not for 50 years, or 100 years - but one day it will, and if we think long-term and with a long vision to the future we need to be thinking about what will happen to this community when that day comes.

That day has come for other communities, perhaps smaller than ours, but when their resource-based industry dried up so too did the communities, slowly fading into dust and disappearing. I have been thinking for a very long time about the future of our community, and how we avoid the demise others communities have seen. And I believe it lies in sustainability.

I truly believe that we could become a type of "Silicon North", not based on computer technology but on the development of green technology, exploring new avenues of sustainability and ways to achieve the things we want but with less reliance on fossil fuels. I believe we must encourage our citizens, and particularly our youth, to be thinking along these lines as future career paths, because in those bright young minds may lie the solutions to some of the gravest problems the world faces. And I believe a carnival may just help those young minds start to move along that path.

What does a carnival have to do with technology and youth development? What does it have to do with the future of our community? What does mini-donuts and turning a peculiar shade of green have to do with anything?

I saw it in my own Intrepid Junior Blogger, who two years ago watched as used vegetable oil began the transformation to biodiesel. She and I walked around the carnival, and as we went I could see the lightbulbs in her mind beginning to turn on, illuminating one by one as true understanding of the concept - and the reality - of sustainability dawned.

"The rides," she said. "Fuelled by cooking oil?"

"Yes," I answered.

"The lights," she said. "Cooking oil?"

"Yes," I replied.

"The concession stands where they cook the mini-donuts," she said. "Cooking oil?"

"Yes," I said.

"The mini-donuts," she said. "Cooked in cooking oil?"

And I smiled because she had completed the circle, and in that mind that some day may determine our collective future connections had been made, not because of a class in school or a boring slide show but because she was eating mini-donuts and about to board a ride, fuelled by the very same kind of cooking oil that had made the donuts.

Sustainival has done far more in our community than bring us a carnival. Last year through 'The Green Beast' they partnered with local schools to ensure students could enjoy the carnival and learn the same lesson the Intrepid Junior Blogger did that day. They partnered with local social profit organizations and 'The Green Beast ' race became a "fun"draiser of the best kind, with teams zooming around the course enjoying the rides, eating the food, learning about sustainability, and in some cases raising money for entities like the Wood Buffalo Food Bank. Sustainival has brought us a glimpse of the future, and it has been showing us sustainability in action, not in words.

I believe Sustainival is one of the best things to ever happen to Fort McMurray.

We talk a lot too about changing our image, about the message the world reads about us, and we fight negative articles with our positives and we denounce those who treat us with derision. But what better way to change the image, to change our message, than putting our money where our mouth is and creating and practicing sustainability? What better way than through a carnival that mixes fun with future, and provides not only learning opportunities but mini-donuts and carnival rides? What better way than an innovative idea that takes something traditional, something many of us grew up attending, and turn it green and bring it into the future?

And that is why I am delighted that this past week RMWB Council voted unanimously to provide $125,000 in funding to Sustainival. I have seen far more money spent on far less, and with far fewer long-term positive benefits (and possibly even community-sustaining implications). I believe that members of our council truly understood the value of Sustainival, and they earned my respect in doing so.

The Intrepid Junior Blogger recently announced her career plans. Heading into Grade Ten next year, she has always waffled and wavered on what she wanted to be "when she grew up", always sighing that she didn't understand the kids who just seemed to know what they wanted to do. But a few months ago she came to me and said "I want to be an engineer. I want to make a difference in the world through technology", and off she went to begin planning her high school course load, with a heavy emphasis on maths and sciences. While I cannot say it was her experience with Sustainival that determined this career path I do firmly believe it was a factor, because it was one of the pieces of the puzzle that showed her in a concrete way how technology can be married with fun - and change the world, even through a little carnival and some mini-donuts.

And that is why Sustainival is just a little bit more than a carnival. In fact, it is a great deal more, with far-reaching and broad implications for our community both present and future. And the best part? It is also a helluva good time, although both the IJB and I have agreed that eating poutine directly before boarding the rides is a very, very bad idea.

To learn more about Sustainival please visit:

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Three Years Ago Tomorrow

Three years ago tomorrow I sat down at a keyboard and typed out the first entry in the blog that would go on to change my life.

I had no idea back then that there was power and impact in what I was doing. I had no expectation of success, and no idea that in three years I would have written over 700 posts and attracted 500,000 page views. I didn't know where it would lead, the opportunities it would present, the challenges that lay ahead or the moments of joy.

All I knew was that somewhere deep inside me I knew I had to write it.

I needed to write my story of my life in Fort McMurray, a place often talked about, written about, filmed and yet rarely understood. I knew that there were so many stories here worth sharing, both ones belonging to me and ones belonging to others, and I knew that we had to start to share them somewhere. And so it began.

There have been some high points along the way, moments of excitement and joy. There have been times when I have been humbled by the sheer magnitude of the trust that others have placed in me, and when I have been stunned by things I have learned, both things of wonder and things of sorrow.

And there were moments I almost quit, too. The first venomous anonymous email, directed not at my opinion or my skill as a writer but at me as a human being. The first deep disagreement with a reader. The first of many challenges, but each and every one toughened my skin, made me dig deeper and harder and, frankly, refuse to give in, because my parents didn't raise any quitters.

I have learned so very much in three years - about myself, about Fort McMurray, about our region, and most of all about the people both in and outside of our community. I have had the chance to share my story with journalists, filmmakers and readers from all over the world - but it has always, in the end, been about the readers who call this place home, the ones who choose Fort McMurray to live, work and play.

I have been asked on occasion to describe what I "am". A community leader, an advocate, an agitator, a journalist?

I am a mom. I am a writer. I am a pet owner (correction, the cat owns me). I am a home owner. I am an employee. I am a friend. But most of all I am an average citizen and resident of a community that I happen to believe is the most fascinating, most complex, and most challenging place on the planet. It is a place of tremendous dichotomy, with wealth and poverty. It is no utopia, and it is no Mordor. It is, quite simply, my home.

I owe thanks to so many people for the last three years, far too many to name. They are the ones who have been my friends and supporters through this journey, the ones who asked me to write for them and about them, the ones who told me their stories, the ones who agreed with me and argued with me, the ones who invited me to events, the ones who helped me to learn and understand, the ones who took me under their wing and made sure I met the people I needed to meet...and the ones who read this blog, just as you are doing right now.

There were times when I thought the journey was coming to an end, but now, three years after it began, I know this journey is still just beginning. I write this blog today because tomorrow, on the third anniversary of my first blog post, I have the kind of day when I will likely not have time to catch my breath let alone sit down to write. But you see that is what my life is like in Fort McMurray now, full and rich and complicated and absurdly wonderful. And for all of that I have only one word:

Gratitude. Because the last three years, in all their complexity and opportunity and challenge, have been the best years of my life - and I am so very, very grateful to every one of you for being there to share the journey with me. It means more than the words on this page can say, so just know that my gratitude is deep and profound. And with that I will end this post with two simple words, heartfelt and extended to every one of you that has been a part of the last three years:

Monday, April 7, 2014

Slashing Penalty in Fort McMurray

There is no doubt that sports inspire passion among players and fans. While I am not an athletic type I can well appreciate the enthusiasm with which people greet sports events, and how ardent they can be when cheering on their team. On occasion, though, that passion can turn a bit ugly, as appears to have happened last night at the Oil Barons game in Fort McMurray.

The Oil Barons are a well-loved local hockey team, and with good reason as they are stellar players in their league. Last night they played host to the Spruce Grove Saints. The game didn't go well for the Barons, from all reports, ending in a 5-1 loss. But what happened after the game is the real issue, when a "fan" (and I use the term very loosely) took it upon themselves to vandalize the Saints' bus by removing the valve stem from the tires.

Some reports have indicated the tire(s) were slashed, while others say it was removal of the valve stem. It doesn't really matter as in the end the pertinent point is that it was a deliberate and willful act of vandalism, and one that reflects badly on all of us. The actions of one person can have tremendous impact, and in this case I fear the visiting hockey team went home with a bad taste in their mouths as their victory on the ice was countered with damage to their property. In essence the Saints might be a rival sport team, but they are also visitors to our community, and just as we don't injure guests who come to our home we should not cause harm to those who come to our town.

The reality is that the actions of one person do not speak for all of us. While we may be ardent supporters of our local sports teams we do not support this kind of poor sportsmanship and this sort of reputation-damaging idiocy. As we head into 2015 and several sport events of provincial and national significance our reputation DOES matter, because people have worked not weeks or months but years to secure these events for our region. And last night one idiot, in one stupid act, threatened to diminish all that hard work, tarnish our reputation and make us look like goons who cannot handle losing (remember how nobody likes a sore loser? Yeah, that one).

But we are not going to just let this slide, you know, because one jerk does not speak for an entire community. I personally want to congratulate the Spruce Grove Saints on their win, and I want to thank the Oil Barons for their efforts, and for all their hard work, both on and off the ice, in our community. I want to apologize to the Spruce Grove Saints for the actions of one person who does not reflect my own sentiments or thoughts (and, I would dare to say, nor those of the rest of our community). Yes, we are proud of our hockey team and yes we are passionate fans, but we know that stooping to these kinds of malicious shenanigans is simply not part of sport, and nor should it be. It also is not, and should not be, part of a proud and healthy community.

It was a disappointing night in Fort McMurray, both in terms of a loss for our team and the reprehensible actions of one person. I am an eternal optimist, however, and I believe on both counts we can, and will, do better in the future. I wish the Oil Barons good luck as they head to Spruce Grove this week for game seven of the AJHL North Division Final, because they carry with them the good wishes and support of true fans and community members. And to the individual who thought their actions last night were some sort of clever retaliation for a loss on the ice? I say this: you get a personal penalty for slashing, because on this one your team - your community - does not stand behind you.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The Intrepid Junior Blogger Rants Rick Mercer-Style

This is from some time ago when the Intrepid Junior Blogger was given a school assignment to create a Rick Mercer-style rant. In true Mercer style we found a mural wall and she ranted away while her mother held the iPhone to video (so all quality faults are in fact my own as I am an abysmal videographer). The thoughts, words and script are all her own, though - I was just there as technical help.

All I can say is that one day this kid is going to be a formidable force. At fourteen she already has some fairly complex thoughts on some fairly complex issues - and this is just one of them. These are the conversations that occur in my house on a daily basis - and it is in these discussions that I find hope for our future, because it rests with youth like the one I happen to live with, and the other youth I know who are very similar to my own. There is great optimism to be found with these young adults, I believe.

With her permission I share it with you here today, because she believes this is a serious issue. And so I give to you the Intrepid Junior Blogger, and her thoughts on cyber bullying: