Life With the Nutters

Most of us, at some time, have experienced living next to someone who was perhaps not the best neighbour material. Maybe they were too noisy or partied too late or held a zillion street-clogging garage sales. But few of us have been embroiled in the kind of neighbour dispute that hits the national news, as a neighbour dispute in Fort McMurray did this past weekend.

I must admit I don't know my neighbours well. The neighbours on one side brought cookies to us on Christmas Eve last year, a remarkably kind act that I have not forgotten. And there was the amusing mix-up when we both received our very first order of eyeglasses from the same online retailer on the same day and our postal delivery person mixed up the delivery, meaning my neighbour accidentally opened my eyeglasses and realized her error as they were clearly not the ones she had ordered. No harm done, we exchanged glasses and the rather humorous incident ended well. I don't know the neighbours on the other side well either, although I know they have a pool table in their garage which they seem to enjoy on hot summer evenings and a dog that entertains my own dog as they bark and yip at each other. We may not be the closest of neighbours but we pretty much do our own thing, stay out of each other's way and respect the relationship.

My parents, on the other hand, were the super-neighbours. They lived in the same house for 28 years and in that time they knew everyone on their street. They mowed their neighbours' lawns, shovelled their driveways and sidewalks, kept an eye on their houses (and their kids), and in my dad's case always had a loonie for the neighbourhood kids and a dog cookie for the dogs. That they were respected on their street is not in question, but it was only as they aged that I began to understand that it was more than respect. When my father was in the final months of the lung cancer that stole his life and housebound as a result their lawn was mowed, the leaves were raked and the snow was shovelled. When ambulances showed up at their house, as they sadly did with increasing frequency in their last years, the neighbours would show up the next day with food and offers of assistance - because my parents had been the neighbours everyone wanted to live beside.

Perhaps that was the saddest thing about the story from this weekend. Neighbours can go one of three ways, really. They can be the neighbours like me, the ones who mind their own business but who on occasion will mow the neighbours lawn or find themselves the beneficiary of an act of kindness, like the secretive neighbour who has on more than one occasion rolled my garbage cans back up my driveway after collection day. They can be super-neighbours like my parents, the ones who become the backbone of the street and the ones who set the tone and tenor for the entire block.

Or they can be the difficult ones, the nutters who seem to exist to make the lives of others miserable. They can be the ones who end up in court, on either the sending or receiving end of court documents and complaints and charges. And here is the reality - life is too short to spend it that way, when it is so very simple to choose to live and let live, to allow others to enjoy a peaceful existence and choose the same for ourselves and to build bridges instead of building higher and higher fences to keep us apart. What kind of neighbour you intend to be is a choice, you see.

I may not know my neighbours well but I know this: I am damn glad my neighbours, even though I do not know them well, are not nutters. I hope they can (and do) say the same about me, too.

The Challenge of FIFO in Wood Buffalo

FIFO - or Fly In Fly Out, as has been dubbed the practice of those who come into this community to work but not reside here - has been in the news a fair bit recently. It seems to have been spurred by news out of Australia that a young FIFO employee there took his own life, sadly probably not an unusual narrative although hard statistics regarding suicide rates among FIFO employees are hard to come by. FIFO has a long been an issue in the industry in our region, a multi-faceted and complex issue that requires a multi-pronged approach for both consideration and management.

Before I even begin I think I can state fairly clearly that FIFO is likely not the optimal situation for anyone. Lengthy periods of time away from home and family in an artificial "home" setting like a camp undoubtedly is detrimental to the mental health of some individuals, as well as to their familial situations. There is a cost to the community as well, as those who are FIFO employees often rely to some degree on our infrastructure, adding extra weight to services already teetering on the brink of being unable to meet the current needs of residents (spending time in the local ER or walk-in clinic quickly provides evidence of this).

FIFO is the chosen path for some, and in some cases it works well for their lifestyle. There will always be those who choose not to relocate to this community for whatever reason, and for them FIFO may well be the choice that works for them. I have met several who are quite happy doing FIFO, and I have met many who in fact resided here and then decided to move away and pursue FIFO, often due to the cost of housing in this region (so still a choice, but less of one as it was a choice made due to financial pressures). There are those for whom FIFO is not a choice as they have familial commitments in other places that require them to live there and work here. And then there are the troubling stories I am hearing about companies requiring employees to FIFO, not even giving them the option of relocating to this community - and I am most concerned about those as when choice is entirely removed unhappiness and dissatisfaction is the almost certain end result.

I think we should be very honest here, too. We have an uncomfortable relationship with FIFO workers - or, as we often call them, the "camp guys" - in this community. We tend towards an "us vs. them" mentality, the residents versus the transient worker. We have a troubling tendency to blame many of our issues on transient workers, from drug use in the community to crime. We have this tendency to see them as almost parasitic in nature, preying on this community because they are just here to "make their cash and get out", a phrase I have heard again and again and again. We have a tendency to think a great deal about the cost to the community as opposed to the cost to the FIFO employee as an individual, ignoring the very multi-faceted nature of this issue. We call them the "shadow population" ignoring that they are in fact a significant factor in the growth and development of this community and region, whether we like it or not, and will likely continue to be for the entire life cycle of our natural resource.

I think we need to ask ourselves several questions as a community:

• What are we doing to make life in this community more attractive to potential new residents? 
• Are we ensuring families can afford to make the transition to living here (and having done it twelve years ago I know it can be a financially daunting prospect)?
• Are we asking our industry players to focus on encouraging future and current employees to consider this region as their home and as such providing enticements for them to do so, including financial ones?
• Are we asking our industry players to provide support for those individuals who do choose to work FIFO and who may require assistance on occasion due to the nature of that lifestyle?
• Are we unfairly blaming FIFO workers for our own social issues and by doing so perhaps adding to their woes by placing undue stigma on their choice?
• Are we finding ways to make FIFO work for us, including perhaps having industry pay for the extra strain on local services which in turn may benefit the FIFO workers and the residents?
• Are we recognizing that FIFO has costs to both community and individual that we must address but that may require different solutions?
• Have we truly realized that FIFO is not a short-term issue but likely a very long-term issue which will continue to impact both the community and individuals for decades?

Resource based communities have always and likely will always experience some degree of transient workers, as has been evidenced by this sort of industry for hundreds of years and examples from across the globe. In some situations in other countries FIFO is not even optional as the resource site is located far from a community base and thus it is necessary to continue to pursue development of the resource. But here, in Wood Buffalo, FIFO is an option as there is a vibrant community right on the doorstep of the oil sands industry. If we are providing the option, though, we must provide the support and understand the consequences, particularly as FIFO is likely to increase as oil sands production ramps up. Reports I have read indicate that one site alone has tendered an additional 15,000 beds for the next decade, and that the camp population which now hovers somewhere around 40,000 people could explode in that same period of time, perhaps even rivalling the population of residents. The "shadow population" could well be a shadow no more, and very soon.

It is not a simple problem, and it will not have a simple solution. It is as complex as the community, the industry and the people who are involved in it. Given that it is highly unlikely we will ever see FIFO end as the industry requires more and more employees to develop the resource we need to start getting a far, far better handle on what it means to this community, both in the historical context, now and into the future. We have until now had an uneasy truce with FIFO, one often fraught with complaints about how it damages the fabric of our community and less thought given to how it can damage those who are part of it, but the time has come to develop a working relationship with a "shadow" population that has for all intents and purposes been part of our community for some time. It's time to stop pointing fingers and start working with industry and government to ensure that FIFO works for the employees, the industry, the residents and the community in the best, healthiest and most sustainable ways possible. To do otherwise will come at our own peril, I fear.

In many ways our community is exactly like every other community on the planet - but the issue of FIFO is one of the things that is perhaps most unique about us, that makes us stand apart in facing an issue that few other communities deal with in the same magnitude as we do. We can look at it as a challenge - and an opportunity, to become world leaders in how to develop a community and a transient working population that provides the best of all possible worlds for everyone involved. 

How do we do it? I don't know, but I do know one thing: we better figure it out, because if the growth projections are accurate FIFO, and the accompanying issues, aren't going away any time soon, and the future of our community may well depend on how we meet the challenge.

The True Nature of Fort McMurray

A few days ago I wrote about a visitor to our community that had suffered an unfortunate incident while they were here. Serben Free Range, a 4th-generation family farm, has been a frequent visitor to the community, bringing their farm fresh produce and meats to us for the last couple of summers. It's quite the trek for them as their farm is located some distance away, and as a small family business it is a leap of faith for them to return time after time, never knowing if they will break even.

When they were here a couple of weeks ago at the Urban Market the unthinkable happened. Someone stole their hard-earned money from the market, a disheartening thing to have happen to any small business but perhaps even more egregious given that they are visitors to our community. It would have been very easy for the Serben family to say "forget it - we aren't going back there" - but that's not what they said or did. In fact they said they believe in our community, in our sense of family and unity, and that they were coming back. And in that simple belief I think they captured the hearts of many, including mine.

You see I know how easy it is to carry a grudge or write off a place because of something that happened to you there as a visitor. And we live in a place where so many of the narratives told about us by others are dark and negative. It would be so easy to take that story of a theft and add to the dark and negative narrative, but that isn't what the Serbens did. Instead, they came back again with their fresh produce and meat to the next Urban Market, smiling as usual and welcoming the people of Fort McMurray.

And the people of Fort McMurray welcomed them back, as I witnessed myself when I dropped by and saw the line-up of people at the Serben Free Range tent, showing their support for a small family farm, the kind run the traditional way and by true family farmers. But the people of Fort McMurray did even more.

You see a small group of people decided it might be nice to do something special for their Serbens, to thank them for their ongoing commitment to Fort McMurray but also to thank them for believing in us even when they had every reason not to. That small group of people told some other people about the theft and about their hope to give the Serbens a nice experience on this visit - and, unsurprisingly, the response was incredible.

The Fort McMurray Sawridge Inn quickly offered a complimentary room for the Serbens to stay in the night of that last Urban Market, so they could rest after a long and busy day. MLA Don Scott, after being told of the theft and the Serbens continuing desire to come back to the community, quickly offered to pay for their meals during their stay at the Sawridge to ensure that this trip would cost them little and they could instead recoup some of what was lost in the theft, including perhaps some of the sense of the true nature of this community.

Because the true nature of this community is that when someone believes in us - even when they have seen a side of us that is less than flattering - then we will return that belief ten-fold. We are a loyal bunch, a quality that I have always felt one of the most important and one that is far, far too rare in this world. True loyalty - the kind that looks past flaws and imperfections and sees the heart - is the kind that should be treasured and honoured. The Serbens have shown their loyalty to Fort McMurray, the kind that looks past a troubling incident and instead sees our heart - and Fort McMurray showed their gratitude by filling their coffers at the last Urban Market and arranging a little surprise for their stay to show gratitude, kindness and loyalty of our own.

I am told the card given to the Serbens read simply: "Thank you for believing in us - Signed, Fort McMurray", and that sums it up pretty well as what anyone from this community knows is that those who believe in us will have our loyalty, our friendship and our gratitude. Serben Free Range and the Serben family are no longer visitors, really - this past week they became part of the Fort McMurray community, ones who might have to travel a little ways up the highway to reach us but who are one of us nonetheless, and who will always find they have loyal friends - and a second home - here. Such is the true nature of Fort McMurray.

I'm With Nenshi - The Trouble With TFW

I was quite pleased when Calgary mayor Naheed Nenshi waded in on the Temporary Foreign Worker debate that is raging in our country. I have tremendous respect for Nenshi, but it grew even larger when he commented that the current temporary foreign worker system strips people of dignity and that what Canada needs is migration.

I fully agree.

To me the trouble with the Temporary Foreign Worker program is that it is deemed necessary at all, and the word "temporary" rankles me in particular. We have these workers come to our country to serve our fast food and fill our coffee cups for a couple of years, give them a taste of life in Canada, and then ship them home to uncertain futures. We ask them to leave behind their families in many cases and come here solely to work for us for a short period of time, never having to give a thought to their futures or the futures of their families. I would say it is almost exploitative in nature, benefitting us a great deal and only benefitting them in the short term.

We are facing an aging population in this country. We will almost certainly continue to need an influx of employees, but are we truly going to rely on temporary foreign workers to fill that gap? For how long? Forever?

Or do we work on encouraging foreign workers to consider making Canada their new home country instead? Do we put get rid of the words temporary and foreign and instead focus on the workers and try to ensure that what we have is a new migration of permanent Canadian residents who can find their future here, not just a paycheque for a couple of years?

The trouble with the temporary foreign worker program isn't that it doesn't work, because it has supplied workers to industries who desperately need them. The trouble is that it is short-sighted and does not take into account a future where those workers will continue to be needed, and that this program is only a short term and inadequate solution to a long term problem.

There are those who believe the TFW program undermines the employment of Canadians, and to some extent I agree because I think it undermines our ability to attract new Canadians who can become part of our core workforce. TFW is just a Band-Aid solution to a problem that requires time in the ICU.

I'm with Nenshi on this one. The Temporary Foreign Worker program should not be considered a long-term viable solution to employment issues in this country. We should instead be finding a way to ensure Canadians have those jobs - including new Canadians who once may have come to this country as a TFW but who would now come instead with their families to become part of their new home nation - Canada. Then perhaps we wouldn't need TFW at all.

The Mean Mommy Mafia

They are out there, lurking. And by lurking I mean they are on various Facebook pages and chat rooms and online forums, just hanging around waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting. They aren’t online predators looking for victims, though. They are the Mean Mommy Mafia, and they are looking for other mommies to harass.

You likely think I am being melodramatic, except that as a mom who has been using online parenting support forums for almost fifteen years I have some experience in this regard. I have visited a variety of online groups and forums that are created by moms to support moms, and almost every single one of them is plagued by at least one member of the Mean Mommy Mafia, the mom who enjoys belittling the parenting of other moms in order to prove her supremacy in the mothering business.

I was on a local Facebook page recently when a triple-M member appeared. Her primary goal? To harass a young mom who was clearly upset and feeling a bit unsure and working on building her confidence as a parent. While the other moms offered advice and support and understanding the triple-M Mom went on the attack.

I tried to maintain my silence at first, and by the time I waded in and realized the nasty nature of the triple-M Mom I was left trying to maintain my dignity as my comments became sharper and sharper. I have very little tolerance for women who attack other women, and particularly those moms who attack other moms because the hardest thing about being a mom isn’t the kids. It’s the other moms.

No matter what you do it seems there is someone there to tell you how wrong, bad or misguided it is. Being a mom is like being a target for unsolicited advice, and while most of it is well-meaning some of it is just meant to be unkind. The triple-M Moms specialize in the latter kind of “advice”, the kind that undermines your confidence and erodes your parenting self-esteem.

I found myself messaging the young mom being attacked, offering my support to her because I realized the young mom is likely young enough to be my daughter. I can only imagine how enraged I would be if someone did this to the Intrepid Junior Blogger as a young mom. You see it takes time and experience and support to build your skills and confidence as a parent, as no one is born with these and they only develop as you parent. Those moms who reach out to other moms need to be supported, encouraged and embraced so they too can build their confidence and skills and one day be the moms offering their support and encouragement.

But this is not the role of the Mean Mommy Mafia. The Mean Mommies, who I suspect may well have been the Mean Girls in high school, exist to deride the parenting of others in order to elevate their own. I have come to suspect they are the ones who are most insecure in their own skills and abilities as parents and thus need to make others feel badly in order to make themselves feel better.

The Mean Mommy Mafia member was banned from the local Facebook page as it should be, and several other moms came together to support the young mom who had simply looked for support and advice and reassurance, as the vast majority of moms often do as we understand better than anyone else how difficult being a mom can be some days. No matter how often you ban them, though, the Mean Mommy Mafia is out there, lurking, and perhaps they always will be.

It reminded me that some people carry with them a lot of baggage which can show itself as false bravado and confidence as betrayed by their willingness to undermine others, as those with true courage and self-worth have no need to engage in the derision of others. It also reminded me of this clip from The Simpsons, as while some people carry that baggage some others – including some members of the Mean Mommy Mafia – are, in fact, just jerks.

Houseless, But Not Homeless

It was with tremendous sadness that I read a recent blog post from a fellow blogger and a woman I have come to respect. She and I first connected over Neil Young’s visit to our community, and ever since then I have checked in on her blog to read her posts. Last night, however, her post was a heartfelt and troubled missive about the death of her nephew, a man who it turns out was the latest victim in a hit-and-run incident in this community. It also turns out it is a man I knew.

I don’t know that I ever knew his name, but I knew his face as one of the regulars you would see on the streets of Fort McMurray. Albert was someone I encountered a couple of times, a gentle soul who never asked for a thing, always had a smile and always spoke softly to me. Albertahas been described as homeless, which troubles me as while Albert did not live in a house and therefore was technically homeless he was not without a home.

You see some time ago I was at the Safeway downtown with my dog. I had gone inside and gotten some Starbucks and was sitting in the sunshine, enjoying an unexpectedly warm spring day. Two individuals walked by and commented on the dog, both of them stopping to try to get my dog, a nervous creature, to warm up to them, and both shared that they had once owned dogs, too. I realize now that one of them was Albert.

The other one, whose name I also do not know, asked if I had any change. Albert just smiled but didn’t say a thing. I said I had none – the truth as I rarely carry cash – but I offered to go inside to buy them a cold drink since the day was so warm. The one who asked for change asked then for a Pepsi, but as I recall Albert asked for a warm drink instead, hot chocolate or coffee, I don’t recall which, and I realized that despite the warm day he was shivering, likely as a result of sleeping rough outdoors the night before and never really warming up. I went inside, leaving my dog tied up beside them while they tried to convince her they were safe, and purchased their drinks. When I returned I said they didn’t have to sit with me but that I would welcome their company, and they laughed and said they guessed they could spare a couple of minutes and sat down.

We talked a bit about their lives, although it was Albert’s companion who spoke the most. I asked them little but as has often happened when I have spent time with homeless individuals in this community they told me a great deal, from where they came from to where they spent their nights on the street. They were telling the stories of their lives, and I was content to listen, although Albert looked on occasion to be nodding off as the warm drink finally began to warm him and he sat in the sunshine.

Finally I asked the question I have often asked homeless individuals in our community. I asked why they stayed in Fort McMurray. This is a harsh place to experience homelessness, with our frigid winters that last forever. There are far easier places to be homeless, places without six foot snowbanks and -35 degree temperatures that can last for weeks.

The lovely thing about the vast majority of the homeless people I have encountered is their honesty. It is so refreshing to be told you have asked a stupid question, as often as soon as it has left my lips I know it is stupid. This time, though, Albert’s companion didn’t tell me my question was stupid. He asked me why I stayed here.

I replied, “Because this is my home.”

Albert’s companion laughed and said “Ours too!”, and Albert nodded, smiling in agreement.

That was the last time I spoke to Albert, although I saw him since then walking on our streets. I didn’t think much more about that conversation until last night when I learned his name and the nature of his death.

You see I am troubled by describing Albert as homeless because I fear it will somehow diminish him in the eyes of those who hear this story. I fear he will be considered someone who, because he didn’t have a home, didn’t have a community or neighbours, people who cared for him and who will miss him now that he is gone. He was a treasured and valued resident of this community despite his lack of a house. Albert’s community was his homeless friends and the people who encountered him every day, enjoying that gentle smile and soul. Albert might have been without a home but he was not homeless – his home was Fort McMurray, and I am so very, very sorry that he is now gone from it.

I extend my deepest condolences to Albert's family and friends. I am so very angry at the callous nature of the person who struck him down and did not even stop to check on his welfare, but that anger will be held in check for another day as I will not sully Albert's memory with it today. Today is just a day to remember Albert, who called Fort McMurray home.

The Many Sides to Every Story

I will post a link to this story without much commentary except to say that I have always believed one thing: there isn't just one side to any story, or even two. There are instead as many stories as there are individuals involved, as every story has perspectives that will differ dependent on the participant.

I was pleased to see this story as I believe every side of the story deserves to be told, and one of the main principals in this one has now told his. It seems he did what many of us have done - negotiated an employment contract - and he secured a generous offer by any standards. Now, some may say it was entirely too generous, and perhaps that is true but I would very much like to meet the person who rejected a job offer as too generous and asked for less salary, fewer benefits or less options for continuing education (for the record I haven't met anyone who has done this, ever). I recognize the controversy the revelation of his employment contract caused, but I think it is of value to hear his side as I think the only way to get a glimpse of the whole picture of any situation is to hear as many sides as possible.

One thing that deeply troubled me in this story was the comment regarding the work of Sacred Mark as creating gifts that one would give as a joke at bachelor parties. Fair trade organizations such as this are far from jokes and work very hard to assist those in the developing world to improve their lives. I support many fair trade initiatives and often purchase items to give as gifts to family and friends, and none of them have been "joke gifts" but rather gifts given to both please the recipient and to help others, an attempt to magnify the positive effects of a gift. I would encourage my readers to check out Sacred Mark for themselves.

Finally, I would suggest reading this story with an open mind. It isn't the first story to come out during this episode of life in our community, and it won't be the last. I think it is vital to read every story - to hear every perspective - with that open mind because a closed mind doesn't do anything but blind us to the other sides of the story - and every story has far, far more than one side.

Sandhu defends RMWB employment